Thursday, May 01, 2008

Meme Me Up, Scotty!

I’ve been working my butt off lately, and I have the Carpal Tunnel pain to show for it, so I’m celebrating by, uh, doing a meme.  Okay, what I’m really trying to do is get back in the swing of this here blogging thing.  Instead of being grumpy & sad because life sucks, I should just write about how badly life sucks and then maybe some gazillionaire will stop by and pay off my mortgage, so Leigh-Ann and I can live happily ever after.  Because other than working out a payment agreement to stop the bank from foreclosing on our house and making other rather large payments to stop another evil witch from taking my care and aside from the Fibromyalgia pain & exhaustion, I’m really pretty damned happy.  I would like to say here and now that Aurora Loan Services sucks and will not help you if you’re having problems with your mortgage payment.  Instead, they will constantly threaten to auction your house unless you agree to pay whatever it is they want, even if it’s $500 MORE a month than the payment on which you were behind.  They wouldn’t let me do ANYTHING to try to lower the horrific interest rate of 8%.  I even asked if I could pay points, but nope, they’re not interested in helping.  And if anyone from Aurora reads this and doubts what I’m saying, I have emails from the representative from the company, where she keeps saying, “...well then we’ll auction the house” every time I tried to get reasonable consideration.  She kept telling me that it wasn’t a refinance (she wrote it in a really snotty way, too) and that basically, she had no interest in making life any easier for us.  Of course, all she did was increase the chance of us walking away from the house and letting them have the house and all of its damned negative equity.  I hope that someday, Aurora’s finest, has some financial problems caused by medical issues and that she gets someone to treat her exactly how she treated me.  Normally, I’d say that I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to be treated that way; however, I think karma deserves to visit the representatives from Aurora Loan Services who have teeny tiny itty bitty hearts of stone.  I’ll admit that there were a couple of super nice people there, but they were the ones to work on my final loan modification, unfortunately.  The woman who did seems to think that a mortgage that is equal to half of my gross monthly income is feasible, when I also have large medical bills every month.

I live in the country’s biggest foreclosure zip code, there are a couple of empty houses on my block, and they’ve been empty for well over a year now.  My house has dropped so far in value that I’m paying into a large amount of negative equity.  I just want to move where the houses cost $50k, so I could beg for change on the streets and still be able to pay the mortgage.  If you know of anywhere nice that is really cheap (with land for the dogs to roam), and is near an airport, so I could visit my family often with the fortune I’ll be saving on not having to pay an outrageous mortgage, please let me know.  Since the stress has made my FMS so bad, my family barely sees me anyway and wouldn’t even know if I moved.  I could fly in to visit once a month and see them more than I do now. 

Oh yeah, about that meme.  I apologize for rambling about the mortgage again.  Until I’m living in a cheap shack or unless I win the lottery, that’s probably going to be a frequent whine for me.  I’ll try to limit it to the confines of my house, so you don’t get tired of the whining.  Anyway, the meme!  I swiped this from Nancy & Helly.

MEMOLOGY TECHNOLOGY What is your wallpaper on your computer? - It’s a picture of Nancy’s son, with his back to the camera, and his arms folded across his chest, in what is clearly the best pouty body language that can be found. How many televisions do you have in your house?  -  Four.  The big tv in the bonus room that has the cable box hooked up to it, the bird’s little tv that is on PBS all day to keep them company, and the tvs in the other two bedrooms that are never used. BIOLOGY Are you right-handed or left-handed? - Right-handed, but I play pool left-handed because I learned by watching my left-handed brother. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? - Four wisdom teeth and some herniated disc gunk. What is the last heavy item you lifted?  A pile of folded laundry.  I don’t lift really heavy stuff anymore because my back could go at any moment. Have you ever been knocked out? - For surgery once.  I also once saw stars, but didn’t get knocked out.  I was playing first on my college softball team and our third baseman fielded a ground ball and made a bad throw to me.  She threw it up the line, in front of first, so in order to catch it, I had to step in front of the runner, knowing we were going to collide.  We did.  My head bounced off the ground, but I held onto the ball.  Seeing stars is overrated. BULLSHITOLOGY If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?  Yeah, so I could make better plans.  If I was going to die soon, I wouldn’t worry so much about money & stuff. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?  When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be named Karen for some odd reason.  I don’t even particularly like the name Karen now.  I mean, it’s fine for other people, but I don’t crave being named Karen. What colour do you think looks best on you?  - I don’t know, but I like wearing dark colors mixed with bright colors.  For instance, grey & pink. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?  - Sure, I take pills every day.  Oh, and I ate pot brownies once, many many many years ago.  My cousin, she was a terrible influence.  Then again, I’m proof that pot isn’t a gateway drug.  Except for what I’m prescribed, I have no desire for anything wackier than pot.  Although, I’ve always wondered what heroin would feel like.  But, I would never try it, so I can just keep on wondering. DAREOLOGY Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?  - Sure, why not.  I’d even do it lots of times, especially if you were paying me $100 a kiss. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? - Yep.  Right now, you can have them both, as long as I get the $400k.  Would you never blog again for $50,000? - No, that’s really not enough money.  Although, tempt me with a briefcase full of the cash and we’ll see. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?  I’d hate every moment of it, but I’d definitely do it for a quarter of a million bucks. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? - Hmmm, how hot?  Maybe. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?  - Definitely, if I didn’t have to worry about getting caught.  Heck, I’ve got a list.  But, just so I don’t seem like a crazy person, I’ll just tell you that I’ll start with child molesters & rapists.  However, there are other people on the list.  “Can I get a million for each?”, she says, rubbing her hands in glee. DUMBOLOGY What is in your left pocket?  - Nothing, but I have a paper towel in my right pocket. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?  - I cannot express in words how much I hated that movie.  I don’t understand how anyone could like it, except for the dance scene.  That was entertaining.  But the rest of the movie?  Yuk. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? - I wish we had wood (or Pergo) flooring, but we mostly have carpeting, with some linoleum here and there. Do you sit or stand in the shower? - Stand.  Although, sometimes I’m so tired that I wish I could sit.  It’s probably best that I don’t or I might fall asleep. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? - One, maybe.  I had some groovy flowery ones from Old Navy or somewhere, but I think I may have worn them out. LASTOLOGY Last person who texted you? - No one.  I don’t pick up messages from my cell phone.  I don’t give out the number, so if someone is calling or texting, it’s a wrong number. Last person who called you? - The doctor’s office, to confirm our appointments for tomorrow afternoon. Person you hugged? - Helly & Alan, last week.  We haven’t been huggy at home lately, I guess.  We haven’t been purposely not-huggy though. FAVOURITOLOGY Number? 7 Season?  - Summer, but when it’s 100 degrees or less. Colour? - Grey. CURRENTOLOGY Missing someone? - Probably. Mood? - Kind of grumpy. Listening to? - I listened to Madonna’s new album on Rhapsody today.  Meh.  Maybe it needs to grow on me. Watching? - The Stanley Cup Playoffs, Reaper, Samantha Who?, and American Idol.  I can’t wait for “So You Think You Can Dance?” to start back up. Worrying about? - LOL! Wearing? - Black shorts and my grey t-shirt with my company’s orange logo on it.  It’s a XXL and super comfy. RANDOMOLOGY First place you went this morning? -  Went?  This afternoon we went to the mailbox store. What can you not wait to do?  - Not worry. Do you smile often? - Despite it all, yeah, I think so. Are you a friendly person? - Generally.  I’m not so good with strangers, but I’m chatty with people who are easy to talk to.

Next entry: While Leigh-Ann is Away, One or More Cats Must Need Veterinary Care - That is an established rule Previous entry: We babysat over the weekend...

1. Yay, Flippy’s blogging again!  Funny post, meme, ramble or whine, we don’t care as long as we hear from you!!!

   Helly  on  05/01  at  07:48 PM

2. Our house, were it to go on the market today, would probably sell for $42K. This is also my pay-off amount on my mortgage, after 10 effing years. There are foreclosures all over the place in our area as well. This is probably a cheaper place to live than Las Vegas, but the taxes are killer- NY state is the second highest taxed state in the country. Our house is tiny, but we have a fenced yard.

   My neighbor’s house should go on the market soon- she kicked over the winter. You want I should send pictures?

   Georg  on  05/02  at  03:48 PM

3. I’ve been in a read-now comment-later mode lately . ..  But I wanted to say how much I enjoy knowing that Anthony is sulking in perpetuity on your desktop.  And to recommend a book I just read written by a blogger: Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster.  I picked it up at a library sale, so it’s old and she’s written a couple more since.  It’s a memoire that reads like a novel and her humor reminds me of Helly’s (but she’s meaner.)  I think you would like it.

   Nancy  on  05/08  at  02:12 AM

4. YAY! you’re the only other person I know who didn’t think Napolean Dynomite was the greatest movie ever. Not funny to watch, not funny on T shirts!

   Meg  on  05/14  at  09:40 AM

5. Linn County, Oregon, cheap houses, usually with some land.  Some are sort of fixer uppers.  I heard Tennessee also has cheap houses with land.  Shall I send you a Linn county listing, of houses?

   Jody  on  05/18  at  03:40 AM

6. Jody, I’d love to see a list, although right now we’re not physically able to work on any fixer uppers.

   Does Oregon still have health insurance for its citizens or did they cut that off?

   Flippy  on  05/20  at  10:31 AM

7. We only have the Oregon Health Plan, available only to those on some form of disability or state assistance.  A few thousands openings for the health plan opened last fall.  The state held a lottery to fill the openings and I think 40,000 people applied for the openings.  So, it’s kind of dicey here as for health care, for poor people, unless you are on government disability already.  Then it’s also a crap shoot because so many doctors now will not take folks with the Oregon Health Plan or Medicaid or Medicare due to low government reimbursement rates, that are about to get even lower.  The entire mid valley is under one health care monopoly—Samaritan Health, who has run out everybody else systematically.  Corvallis, however, has community health clinics for the uninsured and underinsured.

   JOdy  on  05/21  at  11:09 AM

8. I meant to ask if you’d considered what others in your situation have been doing—trading houses.  There was a news story done on this, which is what I saw.  I guess it began with people attempting to trade houses on craigslist.  Some had houses worth more, trying to swap for a house worth less, etc.  Now, it has become so popular, there are real estate agents, the report said, speciliazing in these swaps.  One must be careful, the story said, to make sure everything is secured legally, when swapping houses and sometimes mortgages, so you don’t get into worse trouble.

   Jody  on  05/21  at  11:12 AM

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