Friday, February 04, 2005

late afternoon

Idiot of the Day - Terrell Owens

“It really doesn’t matter what a doctor says. I’ve got the best doctor of all and that’s God.”

Yeah, yeah, God cares deeply about your ankle and the Super Bowl.  It’s right up there on the list with deciding which boxer should beat the crap out of the other.  Right behind, of course, world peace, poverty, natural disasters and the ever rising price of gas.  God is always sayin’, “Screw those starving little children, I’m gonna watch me some football and have me a beer.  You sit right down next to me.  Hey, check out that picture-in-picture—look at those little kids eating dirt.  Hahaha!  Anyway, back to the game.  Who do you like, Eagles or Patriots?  Get this, I was talking to Terrell the other night and I told him his ankle would be fine and what I wanted, above all else in the world, was for him to play that game.  It’s funny who I chose to smite this year, even though they thanked me for every touchdown:  Matt Hasselbeck, David Carr, Kurt Warner, oh, and many others.  But Terrell, God was looking out for you, he was.”

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

evening

Idiot of the Day - Parents Television Council

Really, I’d like to honor them with the Idiot of the Day, Lifetime Achievement Award.  Right now, they’re all upset about smutty MTV --yes, I agree MTV is smutty, but when I read stuff like:  The PTC found fault with the teen-targeted network based on an examination of 171 hours of programing that aired the week of March 20 last year, during its annual “Spring Break” celebration. The analysis, contained in a report titled “MTV Smut Peddlers,” spotted 13 sexual scenes per hour in MTV’s reality series, as well as 32 instance of foul language per hour in its music videos., I just picture them counting those sex scenes over and over and over again, if you know what I mean.  I have something to say to the PTC - if you don’t like it, TURN IT OFF.  If the public doesn’t like it, IT WILL BE CANCELLED.  If your views were shared by the rest of the US, THE SMUT WOULDN’T BE THERE.  We want it there.  We want the smut, the homosexuality (hoyay!), the violence, the blood & gore, the stupidity, the bad language.  The stuff we don’t want to watch, like that creepy Touched By An Angel, we change the channel.  Try it.

early afternoon

Help Me - I’m Addicted To “Mommy” Blogs

I’m gay.  I don’t have any kids.  I rarely see any little kids (sorry Bryce, I’ve been a bad lesbian neighbor/aunt), yet almost all the blogs I read regularly are Mommy Blogs.  Sure, they’re the raunchy, cynical and angry ones, but they’re also funny.  And sweet, in a “I’m so glad that kid’s yours, even though s/he is cute, because I want to use the bathroom alone and I want to be the stranger that looks at you in horror when your child is having a temper tantrum at the grocery store” way.  All of my nieces & nephews are now teenagers, so they rarely do anything utterly cute.  Sure, I marvel at how they’re growing up so quickly and how smart & funny they are, but when they get in trouble, it isn’t cute anymore.

(to be cont. - must go grocery shopping, now)

Oh, and AdSense, while I’m gone, please figure what my content is and quit giving me ads on grief counseling and flowers.  I’m feeling a little angry these days, but I swear I’m not going to kill anyone, and then send flowers.
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I’m back.  As I was stating up there ^, I’m a lesbian.  But at the grocery store tonight (Vons in Centennial Hills), there was a dreamy guy shopping, alone.  He looked like a combination of my cute next door neighbor (picture a white Derek Jeter) and Luka from ER.  Be still my little lesbian heart.

Back to “Mommy” blogs.  Perhaps I need to broaden my horizons, check out some single people.  Oh wait a second, I’ve checked a couple of the miscarriage bloggers, and go figure, they’re funny, a lot of the time.  I guess it’s like comedians—hardship oftens brings out the funny. 

Ugh, pain has mostly been something that’s occasionally annoying since the Carpal Tunnel/Thoracic Outlet Syndrome of the early aughts.  I now realize why the pain has been diminished.  I haven’t tried lots of typing and coding and fiddling online.  My forearms are now killing me, my elbows are burning, my fingers numbing.  Crap, I really am 34% or whatever % they said, disabled.  It’s kind of depressing.  I’ve been enjoying the writing, even if no one is reading.  It’s time to see if my custom-made (I so rock) wrist braces will help.  I never thought I’d have to wear them again, even if they are the slickest looking braces around, in Maple Leaf blue—made even before I liked the Leafs.  Hmmm.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

evening

Idiot of the Day - High School Students

Don’t even tell me that this isn’t frightening:  “Yet, when told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high-school students said it goes “too far” in the rights it guarantees. Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.” —from an article in the Seattle Times

I don’t even know where to begin.  Is it because these kids think that everyone is going to believe exactly as they do, so they’ll only be censoring the “wackos”?  Or maybe they don’t even bother to think that deeply about the question, figuring that it won’t matter in their lives.  Well, kids, listen up!  Unless you want to be living in Nazi Germany where everything was censored and “cleansed” (euphemism for genocide), you’d better start believing in the First Amendment.  And really, unless the government is sanctioning murder & mayhem, how on earth can anyone go “too far” in guaranteeing people rights?

Monday, January 31, 2005

late at night

New title image, oh yeah, yeah, yeah

In my head, I hear, ”I made this!”

You probably just think, “Ow, my eyes, my eyes, I’m blinded by the color and the patterns.” Well, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.  I mostly like it.  It was only a second draft and I don’t hate it, so that’s something.  Oh, and I’m really not all that ready for questions or advice right now, as the Ask Flippy page hasn’t been set up yet.  But, if you can’t wait, you can write to me at AskFlippy AT this domain dot com.  I promise to try to help and you promise that you take this as entertainment value only.  I will not be responsible for you getting your tongue stuck on poles, your bf/gf breaking up with you, the meth you bought in the alley from the dealer.  Got it?  Your life is your responsibility, I’m just here to help, whether I do so or not.  Oh, and I promise not to use your name/email address, unless you’re an abusive jerk.  Then, all bets are off.