Flippy - I Rant, You Read

Friday, February 18, 2005

early evening

Blech, I Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything Today

I don’t think I can take this rain much longer before I PULL all of my hair OUT.  Yesterday was fine; we went with the family to see The Harlem Globetrotters at the Orleans.  It was fun, even though the Globetrotters of my youth were so much better than these guys.  More impressive basketball tricks, funnier with the crowd, etc.  Once again, the soft pretzels & cheese came through for the arena.  I left a happy girl.

But today, today I’m cranky (and crampy) and it’s raining.  Picture me saying that with tears in my eyes…because that’s how it is.  Our back yard is flooded again.  The ground is starting to smell moldy.  We are NOT Oregon.  We’re not even Hawaii.  It’s supposed to be dry here, goddammit, dry.

I signed the refinancing papers (in the rain), then we went to Borders, where I looked for some glass etching books, but they were all out of stock or special order.  I soothed the pain in my soul with two wee rubber duckies - one yellow, one purple.  They cheered me a bit. 

I have so much to do, but I’m so tired and lifeless.  I need a kick in the pants…or a few days of sleep.  Or maybe a good run of idiots of the day. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

late at night

Starbucks Liqueur - My New Favorite Thing

One of the first things you must know about me - I love Starbucks.  I love the drinks (not their brewed coffee), I love my baristas (hi Rebecca, Celso & Margie), I love the smell, I love the mugs, the bears, the candy, et al.  I don’t care one iota that they’re a big chain.  I live in Las Vegas, home of big chains.  If someone comes along that’s better, they’ll take business away from Starbucks.  For instance, I love bubble tea, but Starbucks doesn’t care about all of my beverage needs, so a local place opened near us.  I often spent my daily beverage cash getting bubble tea, instead of going to Starbucks.  See how that works?  Anyway, the place was mismanaged (ugh, they had the WORST espresso) and went out of business.  I’m still mourning their demise.  So, anyway, first a Quigman’s comic that’ll give you some insight into my life, then on to the liqueur.

Now that you understand me a bit better, let me continue on with my story.  Today, we went to Von’s to buy a few necessities:  dog water (my precious Phoenix, of the horrendous allergies/bladder problems needs bottled water),  Soft Soap w/ Moisturizer (everything else dries my hands out),  Friskies Turkey & Gravy (to entice our new adopted cat, who stopped eating because she was depressed and now has a feeding tube, into eating with her actual mouth)...and really, that was about it.  Naturally, the total ended up being $141.  Have I mentioned that I love grocery stores and new products?  No, probably not.  If anyone will notice a new product at the store, it’s gonna be me.  Someone should use me to test advertising or something.  Anyway, we walked in the store, veered slightly left and something made me go down the booze aisle.  It’s a rarity for me.  I’m a horrible drinker.  Ever since I was a kid, when I tried to sneak booze from my parents’ bar while they were out of town, I’ve wasted more booze because I thought it tasted gross.  As a kid, I tried to make screwdrivers because that’s all I knew about it and orange juice was the only mixer in the house.  No matter how much I OJed that baby up, it still tasted like vodka.  Blech.  But I love the pretty bottles and I’m always tempted to keep trying.  When Leigh-Ann was in Philly with her family last fall, I was home watching Monday Night Football alone.  I figured I’d give booze another shot.  So, I made whatever one makes with limeade, ice and citrus vodka.  Again, no matter how much limeade, I could taste the vodka.  They should really scoop up some of my genes and spread them around some alcoholic families. 

Oh yeah, back to the booze aisle.  I was admiring all of the pretty bottles and wishing I liked alcohol more.  We have a bar (cuz it’s pretty and says “Bar” in stained glass on it), we have a bunch of different bottles, but I never drink more than once or twice a year.  But, but, but, then my keen eyes espied the Starbucks logo on the shelf!  Whooo, a new product in the store.  It was $27.99, more than any other bottle of booze I’ve ever contemplated buying.  I told myself that if I didn’t like it, at least the bottle looked swell.  I came home, had a little splash in glass.  It was yummy.  Sweet and coffee-ish.  I added some half & half (bought especially for my coveted Starbucks drinkie) and it was sweet, coffee-ish and creamy.  None of the icky boozy burn in my throat from other drinks.  It tastes a little like Kahlua, but much better.  Although, for the price, it should be.  Normally, as a mostly non-drinker, I’d be ashamed of my $28 impulse buy, but today I found out the mortgage refinancing was approved and I felt like celebrating a little.  Leigh-Ann got some Cosmopolitan mix for like $3.  I’ll just try to think of it as we spent $15 each on booze, even though hers didn’t even have any alcohol in it.  It smelled exactly like Hawaiian Punch, which I also love.  This trip to the store, so worth it.

late afternoon

Aw, How Romantic - Domestic Violence On Valentine’s Day

“BRENTWOOD, Tennessee - Tennessee Titans cornerback Samari Rolle was arrested Tuesday for allegedly assaulting his wife on Valentine’s Day, police said. “

Welcome to my first edition of, “Why Straight People Hets Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Marry and/or Procreate”.  Here, I’ll regale you with snapshots of harmony and bliss in the straight world.  I’m sure they’re all living as God had intended, in heterosexual happiness.  Gay people couldn’t possibly approach this kind of love and happiness in their homes.

An aside, I tried to use the more politically correct term “straight people”, but my template said, “Whoa there, girlie, too many letters iffen you want to add that procreating part.”  My template talks.  Jealous?

Monday, February 14, 2005

lunch time

Idiot of the Day - Kanye West

Conceited jerk.  And as far as I can tell regarding his rapping talent, he’s nothing special.  I hope his fifteen minutes are up soon.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

late at night

Happy Valentine’s Day - A TV Kind O’ Love

I didn’t buy you anything pretty.  I didn’t buy you any chocolate.  Or a card.  If you’d like, picture one of those jewelry commercials, with our pets lined up on the stairs eavesdropping on us.  You can hear them saying to each other, “Look Nancy-Mom is kneeling on the floor.  I think she’s going to give Lammie something sparkly and pretty, in a little box.  Oh wait, she’s just bending over picking up the TV Guide she dropped.  Uh oh, she can’t get up.  Aw, man, birds - go back to your cages.  Dogs - to your respective corners of the house.  Yes, Dante, you too.  Cats, back to shedding and sleeping in the bonus room.  Nancy-Mom ruined the whole fake glory of Valentine’s Day.  What a bitch, man.”

Um, so I’m not getting you jewelry to prove my love.  I’m getting up in the wee hours of the morning to take our newly adopted cat to the vet for an MRI and perhaps liver biopsy.  Then, I’m taking you Starbucks for a Chantico.  Then, I’ll be changing bird waters and giving Phoenix her pills, and possibly even wiping Cricket’s butt.

Money would certainly make things easier, but nothing could make things better than they already are.  Negative, my ass.    Even though I didn’t buy you anything (although I did sell my hair…), that doesn’t mean we don’t have a tv kind o’ love.  It just means we don’t have a tv kind o’ bank account…yet.  You’re a great girlie, but more importantly, my best friend. (sniff, sniff)