Friday, November 14, 2008

the wee hours

Idiot of the Day - Why No One Should Buy a Nuddle Blanket from [redacted].com (buy it from me, heh)

This jerk is referrer spamming blogs.  Maybe s/he should buy AdWords or attempt to spam search engines instead.  Oh wait, does it take too much skill to spam search engines versus spamming bloggers with software?  Blacklist the domain [redacted].com - there, you got some publicity, are you happy?  Perhaps the nuddle blanket people should keep a better eye on their affiliates who are spamming their blanket.  $110?  Whew!  My faux (Californians have decided that we shouldn’t be legally allowed to get “married”, so they’re not really my in-laws, but it’s shorter than saying my partner’s parents) in-laws got me a soft comfy cozy blanket a couple of years ago that looks almost identical to the latte-colored one, and while I’m a lovely daughter-in-law, I’m not worth a $110 blanket.  So, I’m here to tell you that you can get an awesome blanket (I’ve slept with mine every night since I got it) for much much less.  (Leigh-Ann guessed that it was $20+ from Kohl’s or somewhere similar) I’ll have to find out where they got it, so I can advertise the company that makes it.  See, see what spammers do, they make people mad at the company and they make them want to advertise the competition.

Update - That affiliate has lost their account for spamming (lesson - do not spam other affiliates), so I deleted the identification details of their domain and the domain of the company (I added that back in) who sells the product.  Who knows, maybe I’ll sign up as an affiliate to sell their pricey blanket and make some money from the situation.  The blanket looks comfy, although I still think it has a silly name.  Oh, and I have to commend the folks who manage the affiliate program for nuddle blanket - they acted immediately on the spamming situation.  Apparently the person had only been spamming for a single day.  I don’t check my referrer stats all that often, so I guess it was just meant to be that they were caught right away.  I really hate spam, and I really hate that spammers make legit affiliate marketers have to defend themselves when they tell people how they make a living.  Just about every person I’ve ever told has said, “Oh, like those people who spam my email?” No!  Not like those people!

UPDATED - okay, I’m already ranking for the search term, nuddle blanket (nap + cuddle = nuddle), so I may as well try to sell it, no?  Besides, I decided to check out the details of the blanket and it’s fancier than my beloved blanket, although mine is better for bed and just plain sleeping, which is where I use it.  Theirs?  It has openings for your arms, and an outer hand pocket (for Kleenex or cat snacks or...just for your hand), and an inner foot pocket, so your feet feel all cozy ‘n stuff.  I still don’t like the name, but I suppose it’s a name that you’ll remember, and just between you & me, you can just call it a “blanket”, okay?  And, because I like you so much, you can get 20% off by using the coupon code Cozy8 thru the end of this year.

If you click on this banner, it will take you to check out the nuddle blanket and all of its fabulous details - including, like how Tori Spelling loves her nuddle blanket (hey, she has millions, she could buy any blanket), and how the nuddle has been featured on a zillion (only a slight exaggeration) different wishlists.  Plus, it was featured on Channel 13 News in Las Vegas, where our very own Tricia Kean works.  Perhaps Tricia will check in again someday and tell me if she buys what their shopping expert suggests.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

evening

Reading Other People’s Blog Comments Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

I’m behind on my blog reading, have been for quite some time.  I just don’t feel like reading about other people’s lives like I used to, nor do I feel like participating in other people’s lives like I used to.  The last couple of years have been a learning experience - some people I like far more than I used to (yeah, I can’t figure out how to say what I want to say without ending in “to"), and some people, far, far, far less.  Anyway, I was reading Dooce’s blog - she’s generally pretty entertaining, her dogs are cute, and I usually like the commenters.  However, I read a couple of entries that alternated between terrifying me, depressing me, shocking me and making me angry.  Let me rephrase that sentence - the comments from the entries are what had my head spinning, not the entries themselves.  The comments that terrified me were in the blog entry that she wrote about John McCain and his sarcastic air quotes when referring to abortions that are done to protect women’s health.  There were so many women in the comments who didn’t seem to have a problem with him mocking the health of women who needed abortions because being pregnant could cost them their lives.  Ick, and the number of women who were willing to vote for Sarah Palin, probably the most unqualified and unintelligent running mate in presidential election history, was scary.  Sarah Palin makes Dan Quayle seem like Albert Einstein.  Reading the comments made me afraid that Obama was going to lose...and I was reading the comments a day after he was already elected.

Those comments weren’t the worst, it was the really depressing/scary comments were regarding Dooce’s hypothetical question of whether people would give money to feed starving children, if it also meant giving money to a crack addict.  The number of people who completely lack an ounce of compassion is stunning.  There were a bunch of dumb comments about giving a “hand up, instead of handout” and teaching a person to fish, blah, blah, blah, as if getting someone job training was going to help them feed their children tonight. Also, there were lots of comments about people needing to just get jobs or fend for themselves or people who made up wild scenarios that had the crackhead getting high and killing the children that you were trying to feed.  These people seemed to not understand the concept of the “working poor” or the fact that record numbers of people are losing their jobs through no fault of their own or that some people have medical bills that have them living from paycheck to paycheck. 

Here is an example of the compassion from someone named Katie, “Any children involved do deserve help which is why they should be given to a family who can take care of them properly. People who lose their jobs just need to find new ones. People who get sick should have taken better care of themselves. I don’t believe in that “bad things happen to go[sic] people” crap. People should exercise the control they have over their lives and stop whining!” I hate to say it, but my first thought was that I would wish her a terrible painful illness, a lost job and hundreds of resumes sent out without getting a single interview, and no health insurance, leading to her need the generous charity and compassion of others.  My second thought was, that’s a terrible way to think and I shouldn’t wish for bad things to happen to someone solely because they were born without a heart.  I’ve got to imagine that for someone to get to the point of having little compassion for their fellow human beings, they really must be miserable.  Nonetheless, she wasn’t the only one who expressed thoughts like that.  She had lots of company.  It was depressing to see how many people would let kids starve (hypothetically) just because they were either so intent on wanting to make sure that a crack addict didn’t get a day’s worth of crack on their dime or that they just didn’t want to help someone if they didn’t have to.  Of course, this is the same group of commenters who had someone in their midst who posted this:“I’m sorry, but NO where in the history of the US does it say, we DESERVE health care. Why do democrats think that everyone is entitled? It’s a judgement call… If you work hard you earn the right, it’s not just to be given to everyone.
NO guarantees in life baby…
ps… I am unemployed with NO insurance and still believe this to be. Also, my mom died from heart failure because she stopped taking her high blood pressure medicine because she thought she couldn’t afford it any longer. Her fatal flaw was not asking for help from her family, but never did she think she should be just GUARANTEED health care from the universe. She wasn’t a martyr either.

Ack, someone who doesn’t think we deserve heath care, that we only deserve to be taken care of if we have money.  Someone whose mother died due to lack of medical care.  I’m sorry, but that’s just stupid.  No one deserves free cosmetic botox or free stripper-sized breast enhancements, but we ALL deserve basic health care, whether or not we’re fortunate enough to have a good job or to have inherited money or to have won the lottery; in fact, those of us who can’t afford health care are the ones who deserve it the most - rich people can afford to buy it.  Maybe we should split the country in two, and us “bleeding heart liberals” will pay more taxes, but our children (gee, I think this and I don’t even have any kids, what a wacky liberal I am) will all have health care and a good education because we think everyone is deserving.  Our country will have lower infant mortality rates, better health care, a longer life expectancy, and on and on.  How strange to want all those things that lead to a better & happier life.  Here’s a study that shows that we’re definitely on the wrong track as far as health care goes.  The commenter from Dooce’s blog can continue to not get health care because she can’t afford it, but I want my friends and family to get the health care that they need, not the health care that they can afford.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

the wee hours

Buy 2, Get 1 Free…psych!

Isn’t it awful, the bad apostrophe placement, compounded with the two different fonts on top of each other?  What’s even worse, kinda maybe sorta, is that this coupon led drooling cupcake wanters to an empty store.  Ha!  Joke’s on you, cupcake lovers.  However, if you drive up the street a bit, to Farm Road, get thee to the 7-Eleven sign (just when you thought they weren’t going to build any more of them, one shows up almost on your front porch)...then scooch yourself to the left a few doors.  All your cupcake needs will be met, and no one will assault you with an extra apostrophe.  I can’t swear that the sugar and the cute kid faces (after school and on weekends, maybe) won’t give you that weird salivary gland pain though.  But, deal, okay?

Friday, October 10, 2008

late at night

“Just Cupcake’s”???

What’s wrong with this picture?  How much will it cost to fix?  Wouldn’t it be cool if this society really existed and we could get membership cards and everything?

I have a toothache right now or I’d really rant about this.  Is it “Just Cupcake’s Empty Building”?  “Just Cupcake’s” sign that maybe they shouldn’t open a cupcake store so close (within blocks) of another cupcake place that already exists, and on the same street, yet?  How many people do you think saw the sign before it went up (from the owners to the makers of the sign to the installers of the sign) and had no clue that there was anything wrong with it?  Five?  Ten?  Too (punny, huh?) many, I’m thinking.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

evening

Idiot of the Day - Emma Clarke’s (The Voice of London’s Tube System) Boss

Dear Transport for London Officials, Emma Clarke has been a model employee for eight years.  Okay, I assume she’s been a model employee.  After all, she does voice-over work, what problems could she possibly cause at work?  Anyway, firing someone for having a sense of humor is really quite pathetic.  So she spoofed her own London Tube announcements, so what!  It’s funny.  Haven’t they seen the movie “Airplane”, where they spoofed the airport parking announcements?

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again. There’s just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if it’s done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved. - from imdb.com

Here are a couple of her spoofed announcements: “Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers.” “We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.” I’m an American and I’m not offended, so give the lady her job back.  By the way, you can also join the Facebook group titled, “Reinstate the Tube voice lady!” Join the 154 of us, fighting for truth, justice, and the sarcastic way.

To hear Emma Clarke’s entertaining spoofs, go here.  Unfortunately, her website has been so overloaded with traffic that she probably couldn’t afford the bandwidth required to keep her recordings available.  I guess maybe I shouldn’t say “unfortunately”, because the traffic means that the word has gotten out that she lost her job because she mocked herself, so she’s probably being offered jobs left and right.  She has a lovely voice - I’d hire her to speak for me.