Thursday, November 09, 2006

evening

Science H. Logic, I’m Tired

I confess, I stole Science H. Logic from “South Park”, but it was too good to not be used.  Anyway, it’s been a really tiring week, and I’ve realized that I’ve gotten to an age where I need regular sleep.  The week started with not going to bed at all on Monday night because by the time we were ready for bed, it was already close to 5am.  I figured that rather than go to bed for a few hours, which often makes you feel crappier than if you hadn’t gone to bed at all, I’d stay up and work a little more, then shower and go vote.

The morning part worked out well.  We left for the polls around 7:30am or so, which meant that we were due for a couple of our special early morning treats.  First, we got to listen to our favorite radio morning team, Mark & Mercedes on Mix 94.1, which is a really rare event, us being in the car during their horribly early hours.  The last time was the morning Leigh-Ann had her immigration interview and we had to drive across town to pick up her lawyer, so we left at maybe 6am or something.  If I wasn’t so lazy, I would look it up in the blog entry about that day, but I’m not gonna.  Anyway, so we listened to Mark & Mercedes, I went to vote while Leigh-Ann played with our new phone, then we went to the grocery store and stocked up on goodies we thought we’d want later.  Our next early morning treat, was to go to McDonald’s for breakfast.  Normally, that’s a once a year deal for a couple of reasons - one, it’s too early, but also, McDonald’s breakfast on a regular basis makes me feel queasy.  Anyway, I treated myself to a McGriddle, which I first tried, with help from Rory (a kitten we found on our doorstep, who found a permanent home, and new name of “Vegas”, with Leigh-Ann’s brother & sister-in-law in PA…picture at the bottom of this entry) in May.  I thought of Helly this time though, because she recently described how much she hates the sweet & savory flavor combo, which the McGriddle embodies.  Granted, I don’t want it all the time, but both times I had it, it was delicious.  Plus, the yummy goodness of greasy crunchy hash browns.  We also got orange juice, but I don’t like McDonald’s orange juice anymore.  Do any of you (other than Leigh-Ann) remember when they used to keep their orange juice in little frozen plastic containers?  It was so much better!  I don’t like my juice at room temperature.

So, that was the beginning of Tuesday.  We thought we’d take a nap, then get up and feed the birds.  I had a lot of trouble napping, even though I was sickeningly tired.  I was so tired that when I laid down, my body felt like it was vibrating.  It made me think about what hospitals do to interns, making them work horribly long shifts.  Frankly, it seems like a recipe for fatal mistakes to me.  I know I couldn’t have been trusted to make important decisions after not sleeping.  I even had trouble speaking in normal sentences to Leigh-Ann.  So, if any medical schools are reading this, let your interns sleep, so people don’t die!

This morning, we went to bed around 6am.  This definitely has to stop, although I admit, I got a lot of work done last night/this morning.  But, my body can’t take the schedule anymore.  Tonight, we’re going to bed at a reasonable hour of maybe 1am, because we have to get up for our pest control guy.  It’ll be good practice because we’re going to a sports convention with my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday, so we want to be able to function and enjoy it.  I think my brother might have a booth for his invention, the Bullpen Buddy, but honestly, I’m not sure.  I just know that I’m supposed to remember to go to the convention center, south hall, and call for them to come outside and meet us.  See, now that I wrote it down, I don’t have to remember it.

So, work.  I think I’ve finally discovered my unique work skill.  I’m able to talk (talk = email, to me) to bloggers, tell them how much I like their blogs, and ask them to sign contracts.  You know, it’s really easy to talk to people in email (“Oh, you want me to talk to highly educated, multi-millionaire, respected in their field, John/Jane Doe, and ask them to sign a contract?  Okay, no problem.”)  and offer them something for nothing.  It’s like asking to pay people to do them a favor.  Sure, in general, I don’t get to read the blogs that any of my friends write, for work, but I still get to read a lot of really interesting blogs and talk to interesting people.  I have to say, it’s SO much easier than the two months I spent trying to sell industrial chemicals.  While it was a great company, I honestly haven’t a clue which industrial lube is better for which engine…and I won’t ever care.  I do know blogs.  I love blogs.  I love your blog (yes, you, I’m talking to you, I love your blog), I love reading, I love complimenting bloggers on their writing.  I don’t love the electronic equivalent of paperwork & filing, but I know it’s important to keep track of where I’ve been and who I’ve talked to, and about what.  I haven’t made a penny yet (I work on commission), but you just wait.  My first and second contracts were the blogging/writing equivalent of signing professional athletes.  And they just said a simple, “Okay.”  The others who haven’t signed yet have been more work, but I’ve realized that I know how to convince them.  I have to thank an internet illiterate, but very smart, attorney for teaching me that even in 2006, not everyone who is savvy in their professional career is also internet savvy.  Those people need information to reach them too, even if they don’t know it’s out there and they don’t know how to find it.

Okay, I’ve blathered enough, here’s the picture of Rory/Vegas that I promised.  She’s enjoying her tiny nibble of McGriddle.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

evening

Today, I Got A J-O-B - No Wait, I Got Two J-O-B-S

It’s been a crazy week.  Yesterday.  Wait, was it only yesterday?  Yesterday, I got a call from a job I applied for on August 30th.  It was a job I wanted so much that I spent all of the 29th, when TwoNz sent me the ad, redoing my resume.  I’ve been self-employed since 2000, doing internet affiliate marketing and search engine optimization with Leigh-Ann, so I didn’t need a resume.  However, months ago, Leigh-Ann and I decided to dip our toes into the water and see what it was like working with other people.  Yeah, actual real live people.  So, I applied for a job that, in short, is reading blogs.  I’ll be reading blogs in specific categories (alas, not blogs about tv shows or fantasy football) and asking bloggers with good content if they would like to sign contracts and be paid royalties to share their content with others.  Kind of like syndicating newspaper columns.  It’s a commission only job, so I need to be prepared to work for my money, instead of us getting good search engine rankings and watching the sales happen all by themselves.  Leigh-Ann is applying for the job too - we’re similarly, yet differently qualified.  We have really varied interests and between the two of us, we either know a little (or a lot) about a topic, or we’re able to find out about it online.  We work really well together.  Not a single work fight (not other ones either, but the work ones are important to those who want to do business with us) in our years together, which will be nine years next month.  And, we have lots of good ideas together.  We need a venture capital person who wants constant ideas, but without hassling us about the nitpicky details of a business plan.  We want other people to implement our ideas.  We have this fantastic idea for a website for career ideas for teenagers.  I digress, I signed a employment contract and a non-disclosure agreement today.  For a j-o-b.

While I was working out the details of the new job yesterday, Leigh-Ann was talking to a mortgage broker about a job for her.  Well, for both of us.  Two mortgage brokers need internet marketing help, we need the help of experienced loan people.  We’re a lovely blend of experience, the four of us.  So, we’ll soon be ready to do loans in all 50 states, online.  Yes, that’s right, we can get you a loan for a new home, refinance your current home, or get you a home equity loan, and you don’t even have to leave your computer.  You don’t have to make appointments to see us (unless you’re interested in coming to Vegas to meet us for lunch), you don’t have to drive anywhere, all you need to do is fill out the application online, fax or mail tax/financial info, talk to us by email (by phone if absolutely necessary, but it probably isn’t), and you don’t have to even leave your house to get the loan done until you sign the final documents at the title company.  We’ll be just that convenient.  And our partners, they have access to all kinds of loans - for good credit, for bad credit (we learned in mortgage agent class that you can get a home loan one day out of bankruptcy), for medium credit.  Whatever you’ve got, you’re almost sure to qualify for something.  Also, for those of you who don’t want people you kind of know in a personal or bloggy sense to see your credit report , we can work the customer service part of the loan, and the guys can do all the poking into your credit report.  You get a loan, we get a commission, no one leaves their home, no one has to look at anyone else’s credit report, and we’re all happy.  You get a new house or you remodel your old one or you pay off some bills, and we get to keep our addiction to buying books from Amazon.  Everybody’s happy.  Plus, we try to make sure it isn’t a tedious process.  Like my first home loan was with our home builder.  Ugh, the woman tried to give me a crappy deal and she was kind of mean too.  We promise to never be mean, even if you’re mean to us.  Perhaps that can be our slogan.  Mean Loan Officers Suck.

Friday, October 06, 2006

late at night

Mortgage School - We’re Done!  We Are…Mortgage Agents

Leigh-Ann and I had our last evening of mortgage school tonight.  We took our final (we both got 100%+ - there were bonus questions that we rocked, we were happy to have those bonus points) and got our certificate of 45 hours of Real Estate Finance continuing ed that will be registered with the state licensing board.  All in all, we really enjoyed the class and learned a lot.  We would’ve been a lot happier if the class had been closer to our house, but I suppose we can’t blame the school for that.  Now, we’re looking for brokers to hire us.  We iz s-m-r-t.  We’re creative - for class everyone was supposed to make up “impact statements” for scenarios when meeting people at, say, the grocery store and trying to sell ‘em your wares.  That is so NOT us, and so NOT how we want to work this business.  We want to advertise online (no, not spam - we have never and will never, send unsolicited email - that’s skanky), in niche magazines, on various blogs, by word of mouth, etc.  Anyway, to demonstrate our advertising ideas, we came up with these flyers.  The websites on them are either not real or are not owned by us.  The ads sure were fun to think up.  By the way, the Sandy Murphy one might need a bit of explanation.  She was on trial for murdering Ted Binion.  Long trial, blah, blah, blah.  Convicted, overturned, set free, apparently owes the sugar daddy $4.5 million dollars now.  She’s working for a mortgage company and says she’ll have him paid back in two years.  That’s, uh, some mighty quick commission makin’.  Anyway, our ads - http://flickr.com/photos/mudpuppy/sets/72157594314845354/ - Leigh-Ann did all the artwork.  But remember, they were just thrown together for class, they’re not ready for prime-time yet, or even subprime-time, heh.  That’s the second mortgage joke I’ve been able to make.  Yeah, so what if it wasn’t funny?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

late evening

Loan Officer/Mortgage Agent School - Days 3 & 4

Let’s just say that my brain is on overload, and that I can’t wait for the weekend.  I understand everything for the most part.  The fancy calculator that does loan amounts, terms, balloon payments, adjusts for debt, income, taxes, insurance, etc…totally amazing.  While we just learned how to use it tonight, I’d like to profusely thank the inventor for making my future calculations so easy.  Man, what an invention.

The drive is very very unpleasant.  It’s the most driving I’ve done, um, ever, I think.  My car gets terrible mileage.  Something like 20mpg, highway, although it’s really stop & go for at least half the trip there.  Have I told you how much I dislike constant driving?  I do.  For me, driving is only the means to an end.  It gets me from point A to point B.  While I enjoy music while in the car, I enjoy it a whole lot more when I’m at my desk.

Unlike Leigh-Ann, I can see myself doing this for a living.  I don’t particularly like math, but I like solving problems.  The math for loans is kind of incidental, once you get familiar with all the terms and rates - I’m not yet, but I will be.  But the idea of switching stuff around and playing with the numbers to help people get a loan they want, is kind of cool to me.  It’s the same thing I enjoyed about my job working in United reservations, doing international itineraries.  I liked figuring out the routing, the different flights to match up with connecting flights in various countries (sometimes they only ran a couple times a week), the challenge of getting people into the most cities possible on their around-the-world tickets. Plus, knowing how happy people are when they get a new house or get money to pay off debts or money for new landscaping, that’s rewarding.  Hey, this sounds like answers to questions for a job interview, huh?

I don’t know if Leigh-Ann is going to tell this story or not, but tonight as we were going on one of breaks, she told me she had to go tell our instructor something.  I had no idea what it was going to be.  I just left and went outside to chat with some classmates.  When she came back, she told me that she told the instructor that she had no interest in doing this for a living, that she took the class to be supportive for me.  That she wanted to be able to understand what I was doing, and to be able to help if necessary, but it definitely wasn’t what she wanted to do.  Our instructor is VERY rah rah - the class is like half mortgage, half motivational seminar.  Leigh-Ann doesn’t like the motivational seminar part because working to just make a lot of money isn’t what drives her.  It’s what drives me.  I don’t have any particular interests that would lead me to a high paying job.  The things I enjoy, like reading, surfing the web, playing fantasy sports, eating at buffets, having nice things, buying stuff for the pets…those aren’t jobs.  They’ll never be jobs.  I’ve finally accepted that I need to find a job that allows me to work independently and make a lot of money, so I can use that money to pay all my bills and give me time to enjoy the things I like to do.  I also like process of thinking of creative advertising.  I don’t want to be the person who slaps a boring ad on your shopping cart or sends a postcard with my picture on it (I wouldn’t do that to you) to you in the mail.  The thought of advertising like a realtor has absolutely no appeal to me.  I want to market to people online.  I’m comfortable online and I’m comfortable with people who are comfortable online.

Oh yeah, to finish up the story of Leigh-Ann and the instructor.  The instructor apparently laughed and said that she was really glad Leigh-Ann had told her that.  She thought it was nice that she was taking the class with me.  Everyone was happy.  Although, knowing our instructor, you could probably tell her what you ate for lunch or that the sky was blue and she’d just be damned happy about it.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

the wee hours

Loan Officer School - Day 2

Still, not too bad.  The drive there sucks totally, but the drive home is only about 20 minutes, which is super pleasant compared to the bumper-to-bumper yuk of getting there.  We have noticed that there are more personalized plates than ever before.  That makes the trudging along slowly a teeny bit better.  Still, I wish the place was right around the corner, instead of on the other side of the city.

Class was okay today, but we had so much reading and quiz stuff to do before we left for school.  Gah, I don’t know how the people with actual jobs and/or kids are doing it.  Maybe their brains work better than ours.  Today in class we had to do a presentation on lending regulations.  You know how Leigh-Ann and I love our public presentations.    Wheee.  We weren’t supposed to work together, but Leigh-Ann was cranky and threatening to stab herself in the hand with her pen.  So, we worked together, with one other woman.  We had to name our group, so we named it “Two Cranky Lesbians & A Cranky Straight Girl” - the class seemed pleased with our moniker.  Go figure.  Leigh-Ann & Linda made lovely cute little pictures of the people we can’t discriminate against - ironically (haha), according to that form (it was from ‘95), we were allowed to discriminate against gays & lesbians.  I tossed out ideas.  That’s me, I’m an idea person.  I’d always wanted to work at that ad agency on “thirtysomething” where they played basketball in their office and tossed out ideas.  Seemed like fun. 

Anyway, I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.  I have reading and homework tomorrow, and oh boy, an oral quiz.  I hate quizzes, especially oral ones.