Sunday, April 01, 2007

late evening

Marty McSorley is Magically Delicious (also known as the 2007 NHL Alumni All-Star Classic)

Yesterday, Leigh-Ann and I went to see the NHL Alumni All-Star Classic at The Orleans Arena.  It was generally full of players I’d never heard of, due to the fact that I’ve only been a hockey fan for a few seasons.  But, because I like hockey fights, I knew all about the infamous Marty McSorley.  I didn’t realize how young he is though - he’s only a year older than I am, so super super incredibly stupendously young.  Because he’d retired in 2000, I didn’t know what he looked like, as I’d only read articles about him and hadn’t seen pictures.  We stood in line to get autographs for our jersey, and it seemed to take forever for the players to come out of the dressing room; and not all of them did - I’m looking at you Pokey Reddick, Ron Elgaard (CFL Hall of Famer), and a couple of others who I don’t even know, so I guess didn’t really care that they didn’t bother to sign.  However, Alan Thicke wandered past the line (a small line or I wouldn’t have bothered) and because we were nice and didn’t bother him during his private time, our politeness was thrown in our polite faces because he didn’t bother to sit down at the signing table with everyone else.  I feel free now to let everyone know that Alan Thicke is a terrible hockey player.  He was also wearing the most incredible facial protection I have ever seen.  I hope Leigh-Ann got a picture of it.  I imagine that the movie/tv actor hockey leagues are full of players protecting their pretty faces and dental work, but I’d just never seen anything so, uh, thorough.  Anyway, Alan was outplayed by a 9 year old boy (Lance Maxwell) who was there representing youth hockey, whatever that means. (I think it means his family runs the event)  Lance sat at the table signing jerseys, so Alan Thicke could’ve sat his butt down and done it too.  There were only about 30 of us in line.  The Maxwell boy seems like a nice kid and you could tell that he had a great time playing in the game.  The grownups were super nice to him during the game - he got to score a goal, and more importantly, get into a faux brawl with a man I assume is his father.  They have the same last name.  It was a cute father & son moment worthy of a LifeSaver or two.

I’ve digressed, haven’t I?  I started out by talking about Marty McSorley and ended up talking about a nice little boy.  I’m going to let you keep wondering about Marty for a bit.  The first guy who signed the jersey was Ian Turnbull.  He was really nice and we got to talk about how frustrating the Leafs are, and how Saturday night’s game was going to be a tough one.  (The Leafs, of course, won that really tough game against the Penguins, but choked against the Rangers on Sunday - so typical)  Ian has the NHL record for most goals in a game by a defenseman - 5.  Next was Darren Banks , who might hold some sort of record like Most Teams Played For in a Short Period of Time.  He scored a lot in the alumni game.  He seemed nice.  The next guy was Jay White, a Neil Diamond impersonator who played goalie.  Between periods, he sang “Sweet Caroline” while skating around and still wearing his goalie equipment.  He’s pretty good, and he does indeed look and sound like Neil Diamond.  Most of the other guys were a blur for me, except for Clint Malarchuk, a goaltender most known for one of the most gruesome injuries sustained in a professional sports game.  His carotid artery was sliced by a skate.  (don’t click on that link if you’re not prepared) He was lucky that the team’s trainer had served as a medic in Vietnam, because very few people would’ve been able to handle something like that.  He was amazingly back playing a week later.  On Saturday, he was all spiffied up and wearing a really nice black cowboy hat.  He’s cute.

The game was very poorly attended, but we had a good time anyway.  Most of the guys can still skate like pros and we even saw some pretty good goals.  The Hanson Brothers were there and every so often popped into the game for some hijinks.  Sadly and embarrassingly, Leigh-Ann and I still haven’t seen the movie “Slapshot”, which is where they found their fame.  Plus, we didn’t even get their autograph for the jersey because while we were standing and waiting for the other guys to come out of the locker room, they were signing pictures and jerseys, so we assumed they’d stay when the other players came up.  We were wrong.  They were also selling $10 autographed pictures.  I just checked the price on their website and the pictures were a terrific deal, if we’d wanted one.  They charge $30 on their site.

...and now we return to Marty McSorley.  He’s cute.  He has a twinkly smile and it’s hard to imagine him beating the crap out of people.  I think it was a public service what he did to Donald Brashear.  Gah, can’t stand Brashear.  Marty also has a nice muscular upper body (probably lower body too, but he was sitting, so I couldn’t see it) and if I was straight, I certainly would’ve been imagining what it would’ve been like to touch it.  Oh, who am I kidding, even a gay chick can appreciate a great male body.  Yummy.

For more pictures from the game, check out Leigh-Ann’s Flickr account.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

terribly early in the morning

I’m SO Excited - The Fantasy Baseball Draft Is Today!

The draft is today and I’m a dolt.  I’m the commissioner and I made the draft on the last day possible (if we want to start our league at the same time as MLB), but I forgot that we had hockey tickets.  Normally, that would be fine because most hockey games are at 7p, but this is celebrity/has-been game and it’s at 1:30p, before the Wranglers game.  The draft is at 3p.  Oh well, I’m pre-ranking, so that should be fine.  I’m excited that we have a phone with internet access now, so I’ll be able to at least check in on the draft before we come home.  I don’t think the Windows Mobile browser is capable of using the draft program, but you can be sure I’m gonna see if it is.  Although, in general, the baseball draft isn’t nearly as important as the football draft.  Your football season could be decided on two key players, your QB and your RB.  In baseball, you need a more well-rounded team.  I’m actually pre-ranking heavily toward the Dodgers, even though I know that won’t get me the best possible team, but I like having players to watch and I plan on watching as many Dodger games this season as I can.  Plus, I’m looking to get two players from last season who are both cute and good - Joe Mauer and Derek Jeter.  Apparently Joe isn’t having a great pre-season, but I think he’s just saving up his good stuff until he’s on the LV Marauders.  I’ve already been through three name changes.  I can’t decide which team name I want etched on the virtual first place trophy.

But, before I get into baseball, there’s still hockey.  Ugh, it’s Maple Leafs nail biting time again.  Will they or won’t they make the playoffs?  You can be sure that in either case, they’ll make it as hard as possible on their fans.  I have to admit, they’ve been fun to watch this season when they’ve been healthy.  I like lots of the youngsters, and that oldster, Darcy Tucker.  I’ve kind of missed Tie Domi this season, but with the publicity over the past six months, I’ve discovered that my beloved first favorite hockey player may very possibly be a jerk.  And, I know for a fact that both he and his wife are ingrates.  I discover that someone has been impersonating both of them for more than six years, and it’s probably someone close to them, and do I get a thank you? No sirree, bob.  I didn’t expect a million dollar reward (it would’ve been nice though), but a brief “thanks” would’ve been nice.  I guess they were too busy trying to damage each other.  Anyway, my point was about the Leafs.  At the beginning of the season, I missed him, but I’ve enjoyed watching Kyle Wellwood, Carlo Colaiacovo, John Pohl, Ian White, Alexei Ponikarovsky, et al., play the game.  I think their prescence bodes well for a good Leafs future.  I still wish they could’ve gotten Sidney Crosby though.  They just were quite bad enough last season.

update - damn, I didn’t expect to be proven right immediately.  This is from this morning’s news:  “Former Leafs’ tough guy Tie Domi was “like a beast” as he screamed obscenities at his 11-year-old son Max’s peewee hockey coach at a North York arena last night. “

Friday, March 23, 2007

terribly early in the morning

Wanted:  One Fantasy Baseball Team Manager

I have a fantasy baseball league up & running and I need one more person to play to make up an even number of teams for head-to-head competition.  Or, if three people want to play, that’s good too.  But just one person is vital to the health and happiness of our league.  You don’t have to be experienced - it’s a league full of mostly newbies.  I can teach you the basics and help you out with navigating through Yahoo’s fantasy program.  Just please, play.  I’ll be your best friend.  I won’t even care if you’re using a Mac AND bragging about it.  I’ll just kick your ass on the field.  Don’t make me beg.  Well, don’t make me beg any more than I’m already doing.  If you want to play, just send me an email or post a comment and I’ll send you the signup link.  The draft is next Saturday, the 31st.  You don’t have to draft live - the Yahoo computer will do it for you.

update 3/24 - one team manager pending.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

the wee hours

The Mysterious Case of the Magnificent Bladder Switch

I’m not sure when this story begins or when it ends.  All I know is that somewhere along the bumpy road of my adulthood, someone switched my 34-40 year old bladder with that of a very very elderly woman.  Now, I’m not incontinent, nor have I ever been on this journey.  Although, the different between me and someone else in my shoes is that I was never stuck in traffic one minute too long; the verbose defense attorney’s closing statement was only almost too long during my jury duty; Las Vegas probably has more bathrooms per capita than any other city in the world; standing is a sure cure for what ails me; and, I work from home.  You’ve all been subjected to my weird bladder symptoms, my uncomfortable descriptions of going out and having to worry about my bladder, instead of enjoying the Wranglers game, the 51s game, my nephew’s baseball games, my other nephew’s concerts, Mamma Mia, The Blue Man Group, and too many concerts at The House of Blues to mention.  Also, many family get-togethers, which are uncomfortable for me to get to.  I’ve missed so many baseball games because not only was the drive to them a crapshoot, but if there wasn’t a bathroom nearby, I would have to spend the whole game standing…which obviously was terrific when my herniated disc pain was at its worst.

On February 13th, I started taking one 7.5mg tablet of Enablex a day.  This was after numerous invasive tests that found absolutely nothing physically wrong with my bladder.  Of course, it was also after seeing numerous doctors who shrugged their shoulders when I told them my symptoms.  When you’re in pain or have a temperature or rash, people care.  When you have to pee too often, most people just think it’s weird (including doctors), but don’t have another thought about it, unless it affects them adversely.  But still, the thought is that you’re not doing what they want/wish you could do, not that you’re suffering almost every day.

I got sidetracked with my pity party.  Anyway, I started taking Enablex a little over a month ago.  At first, I didn’t notice much except for the lousy side effect of urinary retention, which is kind of a cruel joke when you have urinary urgency.  Kind of, “Hurry, hurry, hurry, get to the bathroom….concentrate, concentrate, gah, nothing.”  Then, I noticed that after showering, I no longer desperately needed to pee when I sat down at my desk afterwards, or when we went to the store afterwards.  I thought it might’ve been a fluke, but since that was one of the major problems (most people like to shower before they go out, but most people don’t have a bladder that rebels when they sit down in the car after that shower) that happened all the time, it seemed to be a good sign.  It seemed that after each shower, the symptoms still stayed away.  I started to feel better on trips out in the car.  By no means perfect, but gradually getting better.  I was also getting better while sitting on the couch watching tv.  That usually isn’t a stressful situation, so I knew that the couch symptoms were never partially mental.  I know that being in the car did have a mental stress component, which always made things worse.  Stress in general made it worse, but worrying that it was going to be bad was a sure way to know that it definitely was going to be bad.

I can’t remember the last time I went to one of my nephew’s baseball games where I didn’t have to stand for half the game because my bladder was bothering me.  Or, I had to know where the bathroom was.  I went to my nephew’s high school baseball game today that was just a mile away from the house.  An easy non-stressful trip.  I could always go home if there was a problem, even though I’d been feeling pretty good lately.  Well, at least bladder-wise.  However, today, I went to the game and I sat.  Through the whole game.  I didn’t have to get up a single time.  Plus, I was able to drive to the store afterwards.  I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.  The pill is supposed to increase bladder capacity and block the M3 muscarinic acetylcholine receptor, which is primarily responsible for bladder muscle contractions.  By golly, I think it does do that.  I’m not cured, but I seem to be getting continuously better.  That’s really all I can ask, and until I’m sure I’m fixed, I’d also like to ask for an aisle seat, thank you very much.  Oh yeah, and one more thing, I’d really appreciate it if my stupid insurance would cover it.  Does anyone who lives in the US, have any experience ordering prescriptions from Canada?  I was looking at some prices and they’re SO much cheaper.

Here’s Kyle at bat. I’m pretty sure this was the at-bat where he fouled off like ten pitches before he got a hit.  However, I wish I had a video of the great play he made at third.  He jumped up and pulled a rocketed line drive out of the air, then dove back to the bag to double up the runner.  He’s a lot of fun to watch in the field.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

the wee hours

Madison, Testing The Authenticity of the Stanley Cup

And the answer is…of course not, it has the Leafs logo on it.  What, do you live in a fantasy world?

(Madison is 7 weeks old now and will be going off with her adoptive parents in the morning.  She’s turned into a really great kitten and we’ll be sorry to see her go.  I guess it would be selfish to keep her through this awesome kitten stage, huh?  Anyway, we’re sending her home with a cornucopia of kitten goodies - litter box, toys, food, and the appreciation of straw brooms.  Good for snackin’ & playin’ )