Friday, February 15, 2008

the wee hours

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Even though it sometimes seems like I’m not thinking about you, I am.  I love you and miss you.  You all know who you are.  If you’re thinking, “Could she be talking about me?”, then you’re included.  I don’t need to name names because there are a lot of you.  We don’t always write or have a lot of contact, but I feel like you’re the kind of friends who would always be there when I needed you.  I hope you’re having a terrific day, whether you’re pro Valentine’s Day or anti Valentine’s Day.  Oddly enough, Leigh-Ann and I actually got each other a gift this year.  It’s probably been five years or so since we’ve done that.  Every day is Valentine’s Day here - we don’t need the calendar to remind us that we love each other and that we should pay attention to each other.  Whether we’re out to dinner together or sitting on the couch opening up hockey cards that have old gum stuck to them, we always have fun.  We’re poor and sore and stressed, but we’re poor, sore, and stressed together.

I promise to be blogging regularly again soon.  I’m finally over my cold, the nasty side effects from Lyrica are finally going away now that I’m weaning off it (sadly, it does help with the pain, but swollen feet that don’t fit in my shoes and falling asleep sitting on the toilet are pretty bad side effects), and I have a new dose of my Fentanyl patch (that cost $287!!!) that seems to be helping already and I’ve only used one patch.  I want to start working & playing & sleeping & blogging on a schedule.  I think I’ll try to see you every day for NaBloPo - March, the Lists Strike Back.

  Okay, I’m going back to bed now.  We’ve had a backwards schedule the past couple of days, so right now (late afternoon), it’s bedtime.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

lunch time

If it’s not one thing, it’s another

My cold has finally almost completely gone away.  Now, I have gigantic water retention foot paws (what I imagine chubby bear cub paws would look like without hair), my fingertips are dried out, sore, cracked and bleeding, and hurt like hell (I’d never even contemplated such a thing, and then my mom mentions a couple of weeks ago that she has one fingertip that’s cracked…and now both thumbs have really sore cracks - ugh, the power of suggestion.  When I met Leigh-Ann, I’d never heard of reflux, and now I need a prescription strength drug for it - I’d also never heard of Fibromyalgia, and we know how that turned out too) and one of my big toes is starting to crack too.  Tonight, I’m slathering some pet groomer’s hand lotion (Leigh-Ann got it for me for Chrismukkah because I’d loved a sample of it that we got a SuperZoo) on and wearing gloves to bed.  My toe will get some Neosporin and a bandage.

I’m not even sure if the cracked & painful fingertips are the worst thing.  While I enjoy a good whine-fest, it’s now getting to be a bit much, even for me.  However, stuff keeps happening.  I’ll start with one more physical thing, then move on to a financial thing.  I’ve suddenly turn into a narcoleptic.  I’ve been taking Lyrica again for the past five weeks, and I’m now up to the dosage recommended for Fibromyalgia treatment.  I’ve fallen asleep on the couch, while watching tv, which isn’t overly unusual.  I’ve fallen asleep sitting at my desk, which is more unusual.  Today, I fell asleep on the toilet…for THREE HOURS.  Just now, I remembered that I didn’t even do anything, which I guess if you’re going to fall asleep in there, is for the best.  I’ve already had some water retention problems from the Lyrica, but falling asleep at my desk and ON THE TOILET, have given me club feet.  I no longer have any ankle bones.  But hey, looking on the bright side, it’s much easier to shave around my ankles and not miss any spots around the bones, because now everything is all smooth and my foot goes directly from foot to leg, without any sort of indentation.

Now, for the financial thing - last year I exceeded my pharmacy benefits at the end of March.  This year, at the end of January.  Yes, that’s right, I had one month of pharmacy benefits.  I’d wanted to try Fentanyl patches for pain medication that won’t have me on that up & down rollercoaster of pain/pain relief/pain/pain relief.  They’re more expensive than the Oxycodone pain meds I’ve been taking, which is why I waited until January to try them, so I wouldn’t have to pay for them.  For breakthrough pain (when you’re taking a long-term pain med, you usually get a prescription for short acting pain med for those times when you get sudden acute pain that the patch can’t handle), I was given liquid Oxycodone (OxyFast), so it would work faster.  I was able to get the generic, so it only cost me $10.  If I had paid cash, it would’ve cost $425.  I didn’t find that it worked that much better than the pills, so I went back to pills this month.  Good thing, because my pharmacy benefits are G-O-N-E.  That’s right, everything from now on, will not be covered.  I had to pay $125 for the Oxycodone, which I suppose is better than $425 for the OxyFast. Heh.  Also, I thought the Fentanyl patches worked pretty well, except for the slight skin rashes, but I thought that a slightly higher dose would work better.  I figured the higher dose would help me cut down on Oxycodone, so I went up 25 micrograms.  They had to special order the better generic (yes, it’s true, all generics are not created equally - ask any person who is in chronic pain…or any drug addict, hahaha), which will be delivered tomorrow.  Last month, I had to pay $10 for what was about $225 for the generic.  For the higher dose, it’s $285.  Um, I don’t have $285 to spend on a patch right now.  Ugh, if I want to take what I’ve been taking for the past month (We’re seeing a new doctor in the same practice because our doctor thought we’d be a better match with this doctor, as he’s willing to try newer meds and off-label uses - this doctor isn’t accepting any new patients because he’s full…he’s the head specialist guy, the owner of the practice, who we originally wanted to see, but couldn’t get an appointment for, and we like him very very much), what was $55 out of pocket, will now be $560.  If I got exactly what I had last month, it would be $915, which doesn’t even include the reflux med that works best for me.  I’ve been either using Zantac, Prilosec, or Pepcid - Protonix is the only med that really works well, and it’s another $115 a month.

I’m going to call my insurance company and see if I could get on another plan.  I just got an increase in my old rate (of only about $15 to $185), what’s a few hundred dollars more.  Actually, if I paid $300 more for my plan, I’d probably end up being way ahead, especially if I could get more co-pays.  I only get two a year, and we have to see our doctor once a month, at $95/each, because they supposedly need to keep an eye on us, and because of the meds we’re taking, we have to see him once a month to get the written prescriptions.  They don’t allow refillls for Schedule II meds.

So, if someone robs a bank on Thursday morning, and I come home with my meds on Thursday night, mum’s the word, okay?  I’d do the same for you.  Well, unless there was a big reward, then I’d turn you in, so I could buy my meds.  I’d spend the money getting you a good lawyer too.  Really, I swear.

I apologize for the rambly nature of this entry.  It’s 4:54am, and we’re just lucky that I haven’t fallen asleep while writing this, I think.  I’m going to go slather my fingers & toes with lotion now.  I hope you all are doing well.  I’m a little behind on reading blogs too, but I try to keep up with you as much as I can.  I miss visiting you regularly, every single day.  Wait, I’ll leave you with one good thing happening in my life.  The length of three football fields away, a CUPCAKE bakery is opening - Retro Bakery.  That’s right, a CUPCAKE bakery.  Not only does it have cupcakes, it has a cool retro theme and a cool owner who blogs.  So, if you’re in Las Vegas and you’re craving some cupcakes, check out Retro Bakery in Centennial Hills.  Look out for the vicious dogs three football fields away - their owners don’t like visitors, and one of them is especially cranky because her fingertips hurt.  Make sure you go directly to the bakery.