Wednesday, May 31, 2006

early evening

Idiot of the Day - “In Surmation Go To Hell”

First, a little background information.  Leigh-Ann and I own/admin two private message boards and three public message boards.  Our most popular board has over 7000 users.  Once upon a time it was a very very busy site, which took hours a day to moderate, especially because most of the members are teenagers.  Anyway, in the beginning, we used to wish each member a personal happy birthday - their birthdays are in their profiles.  After a while, it just got to be too time-consuming, so we asked our programmer to write a modification that would send out birthday messages automatically once a day.  That board has been running since December ‘02, with obviously many thousands of birthday wishes sent out.  We send them from my Birthday Fairy account, which I’ve neglected to check for, oh, ten months.  Oops.  There usually isn’t any rush to check my private messages there because users are usually only writing back to say thanks for the birthday wishes, and occasionally to tell me what they did for their birthday.  Today I got the most awesome private message I have ever received, both in rudeness and in entertainment value.  Keep in mind that birthday messages are received on the board only, not sent in email.  Some users have email notifications turned on so they know when someone has written to them.

Now, for the masterpiece you have been awaiting:

fuck you
u know not everybody likes there fuckin birthday
and furthermore 1 person has this mail adress my x wife
i check this daily 2 see if she wants 2 talk 2 me
and i got a new message this morning(when no 1 has this adress)so i wonder what was going on through my head
i hope u realise that u didnt mind your own business
and now ill be licky 2 not kill myself by the days end
but u said happy bday 2 someone u dont know so in your eyes ur a fuckin saint and screw the falloff because u dont know me and really dont and never did give a shit, so im waisting my time
in surmation go to hell

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

evening

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

*

I’m Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!**

*Totally Delicious Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin by Smith’s Bakery Dept.
**Words & Music by Dennis DeYoung

Sunday, May 28, 2006

lunch time

Bat Out Of Hell

Leigh-Ann and I were shopping in the deli section of Smith’s when suddenly visions of Helly & Alan’s new trebuchet wedding gift (what? not every wedding weapon gift has to be a set of knives) came to mind.  First, I noticed the meatloaf, but then Leigh-Ann suggested that the meatballs would give them more ammo bang for their buck.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

And what reminded me to actually post this entry?  In today’s Review-Journal, there was an update on the latest overreaction by Las Vegas news stations, “You won’t BELIEVE what the mysterious object was that fell through a medical center’s skylight.” Well yeah, you would believe it, because it was asphalt, but whatever.  Anyway, in today’s paper were readers’ suggestions about what it could have been.  “George Gayner suggested a huge catapult was used to launch the rock from about 200 feet away from the target. ‘People are building these things and testing them, matter a[sic] fact I have a model one on my desk.’” Okay, what’s the deal with catapults these days?

Speaking of Meatloaf, watch Meat and Katharine McPhee’s breasts on the American Idol finale.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

early evening

Microdiscectomy One Month Update

I saw the doctor on Thursday.  I thought I was supposed to see the PA again, but the doctor suddenly showed up in the room.  He asked me how I was feeling.  I told him that I still had some leg pain, and before I could get to the bladder stuff, he stopped me and said that when he saw the nerve it was very irritated, red, and twisted.  He said it was going to take a while for the nerve to heal.  Then he did a brief exam - while I was sitting, he asked me to lift my left leg.  Then, he asked me to walk about fifteen feet into the hallway and back.  He said that I looked good and that I was 70% better.  I was mildly surprised, but I guess since he does these all the time (the waiting room is never not full), he sees something I don’t.  Yay!  I have a followup in mid-June, and the physical therapy folks are supposed to be calling me soon to set something up.  I can’t wait to feel like a normal person.  Oddly enough, I’m even looking forward to exercise.  I think it would help in a variety of ways, but mostly because right now, I have zero energy.  See how long it takes me to even get a blog entry up?  And I owe so many people email too.  If it helps, I write them every day, in my head. 

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

evening

Four Week Anniversary of My Surgery

So far, there hasn’t been a miraculous change.  Tomorrow I have another follow-up and then hopefully I’ll be sent to physical therapy, where we can make this surgery a success.  Rah!Rah!Rah!  I hope.  Hey, the incision has healed like a champ.  I only have a few little scabs left on it and usually it doesn’t hurt at all if I lean against.  So I’m back to sitting normally on the couch and in the car, and I can lean back in bed.  I still have leg pain (but not as much), I still have bladder problems (some days are great, some are not), and my body suddenly wants to retain every bit of fluid that enters it (’cept yesterday’s stuff, ‘nuf said).  My feet are rounded, like a caveman.  My ankles get red pressure lines when I bend them.  I still can’t put on my wedding/engagement/partnership/platinumthingthatfrightenstherightwing/whateveryoucallit ring.  I took it off right before surgery, tried to put it on last week, but my fluid retainin’ digits said, “No way, lady.”