Monday, October 31, 2005

mid-morning

Idiots of the Day - Conservatives Against The Cervical Cancer Vaccine

“Because the vaccine protects against a sexually transmitted virus, many conservatives oppose making it mandatory, citing fears that it could send a subtle message condoning sexual activity before marriage. Several leading groups that promote abstinence are meeting this week to formulate official policies on the vaccine.”

So, let me get this straight.  Conservatives don’t want their daughters vaccinated against a deadly disease before puberty because they want them to abstain from sex?  Okay, what about the kids who don’t abstain (there are lots of them...check out the birth rates in the red states) or the ones who are raped?  What about saving your kids’ lives do these idiots not understand?  This “...vaccine appears to be virtually 100 percent effective against two of the most common cancer-causing HPV strains.” What happened to family values - doesn’t that include saving the LIVES of family members?  “Cervical cancer strikes more than 10,000 U.S. women each year, killing more than 3,700.” You know what, I’ll bet those 10,000 women who get cervical cancer aren’t all liberals.  You know, just a wild guess.

“"While we welcome medical advances such as an HPV vaccine, it remains clear that practicing abstinence until marriage and fidelity within marriage is the single best way of preventing the full range of sexually transmitted diseases,” the group said.” Hello!  Idiots, do you need me to start naming all of the conservatives who have cheated on their wives, therefore not practicing the “single best way” to prevent sexually transmitted diseases?  You know what, I think that you do.  Here is a list, which is by no means exhaustive.  Not everyone has been caught and publicly humiliated.

Rep. Henry Hyde
Mike Bowers
George Bush
Newt Gingrich
Bob Dole
Former Rep. Bob Dornan
John Linder
Ronald Reagan
William Cohen
Guy Millner
Rush Limbaugh
Mitch Skandalakis
Michael Deaver
John Warner
Bill Randall
Bill McCartney - Promise Keepers founder!
Rep. Dan Burton
Rep. Bob Barr Cheated on all three of his wives - and coerced one into having an abortion - then lied about it.
Rudolph Giuliani
Sen. Strom Thurmond
Gilbert Davis - Paula Jones’ attorney, who allowed himself to be videotaped drunk during his adultery
Bob Packwood
Gov. Kirk Fordice
Beverly Russell - The Christian Coalition coordinator who molested his stepdaughter Susan Smith, who later killed her own kids.
Marv Albert

Faux family values are so bitchin’.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

early afternoon

A Good Democratic Funny

From http://www.lvrj.com - CONGRESSWOMAN SHELLEY BERKLEY COULD HAVE KILLED in the Catskills when she roasted former Gov. Bob Miller during the Clark County Democratic Party’s Jefferson-Jackson Dinner on Oct. 22. But the congresswoman didn’t limit her stand-up to just one man, choosing to skewer everyone on the dais while managing to still tout her own party.

“We’re better lovers,” Berkley said of Democrats. “After all, have you ever heard of a good piece of elephant?”

Though that line was scripted, it was in keeping with Berkley’s stand-up spirit. After all, this is the woman who at the State Democratic Party convention last year didn’t let a constantly drooping microphone stop her speech. “It’s just like my ex-husband,” she improvised.

lunch time

Uh Oh - The Plague

Memed from Dana

You have Bubonic Plague How you get it: Close contact with an infected host. Fleas, cats, rats and squirrels are the most common hosts. Incubation period: 2 to 6 days Early symptoms: Fever, Chills, Sore throat, Headache, Weakness, Malaise, Nausea, Diarrhea, Gastrointestinal distress, Cough, Bloody sputum, Shortness of breath, Stiff neck Symptoms at full disease onset: Gangrene and necrosis of areas such as the digits, penis. Bleeding from body openings, red circular lesions form on skin. Final outcome of this horrible disease: The rosy lesions. “bubos,” that have gradually formed on the skin begin to necrotize, turning the skin black, especially in the extremities. Internal lesions become infectious pustules that seep into the bloodstream causing blood poisoning, or “septicemia,” and eventually death. There is nothing you can do now but wait for death to arrive and hope it comes quickly. Make your peace. get your own internet diagnosis

late morning

Time Change?  What Time Change?

I think this is the first time I was ever taken by surprise by the time change.  Too weird.  We were watching the Leafs game last night (and I still love them, despite the abysmal blowout) and one of the announcers mentioned something about the time change.  Leigh-Ann and I looked at each other, “Really?  Is it this weekend?” We still weren’t sure until we woke up this morning to our omniscient computer clocks, which changed for us.  Since we had so much extra time this morning, we decided to go out for a special once every couple of years treat - breakfast at McDonald’s.  Plus, since Starbucks is in the same parking lot, we of course had to go there too.  I have never seen our Starbucks so crowded (our usual time there is 4p-7p), with people just lounging around and HUGE lines in the drive-thru.  Also, as I looked around, I realized our neighborhood is so damned white.  Well, at least the Starbucks crowd is.  It was amazing the difference between the Starbucks and McDonald’s crowds, even though they’re in the same shopping plaza.  The parking lot at Starbucks was full of fancy cars - a Dodge Viper, a BMW SUV, etc.  The McDonald’s parking lot, compact cars and old trucks.  It’s strange to see class differences just a few hundred yards apart.

A Cricket & Flippy health update - Cricket is doing fine.  I guess it really was arthritis, because with a week of Rimadyl and some good weather, she’s fine.  I’m still having trouble wanting chocolate.  Yesterday, I attempted a chocolate Payday, but alas, didn’t like it.  It’s not the Payday’s fault, I just wasn’t that into it.  The steroids are freaky.  The pain is a lot better, but yesterday I started having really bad bladder problems again, which extended into today.  Leigh-Ann suggested that maybe the steroids were decreasing the inflammation so that my symptoms were going backwards.  Everything started with back pain, then moved to my bladder and then my leg.  Perhaps we’re going in reverse.  Hopefully, all of the symptoms will disappear completely soon.  Still, I’m expecting surgery anyway.  I’m thinking that early December is probably a good time.  We’ll go to the Liz Phair concert in November, have Thanksgiving and then have surgery, which will give me time to heal before the family get-together for Hanukkahmas.  Our grocery stores deliver, so we’ll be okay living as hermits for a couple of weeks.  Plus, if we really need anything, our nextdoor neighbor is always helpful.

I think the meds are giving me weird dreams too.  Last night, I had a dream that Tie Domi’s son came over to my house and wanted my new hockey skates.  That’s weird enough, but he looked like Sidney Crosby and was Sidney Crosby’s age.  Also, I don’t have any hockey skates.  I’ve never had any hockey skates.  I’ll admit, the skates were pretty spiffy looking, so I can’t blame him for wanting them.  I also had a dream that Tie had a healthcare blog.  Yeah, as if he has the time or interest for that.  Oh yeah, and part of my dream had to do with some hockey jersey I had hanging in the cabana near our pool.  Clearly, I dream big.  Our pool doesn’t have a cabana, and any jerseys I have are in our closet.  This one was apparently very very special.  If only I could remember why it was special.  I can’t wait for tonight’s dreams.  I’m assuming that the Tie associated dreams came from watching the Leafs last night.  Today, I’ve been watching football.  Maybe LaDainian Tomlinson’s son (if he has one...although, it’s my dream, why would it matter?) will want my non-existent football cleats.  Hey, if someone wanted my expensive baseball glove that’s in the closet, at least we’d have something based on reality, but noooo, people want what I don’t even have.

Friday, October 28, 2005

evening

Horrifying Steroid Side Effect

For the past couple of days, I haven’t wanted any chocolate.  It’s so strange.  Except for when I’ve been physically ill, I can’t remember a time where I absolutely didn’t want chocolate.  I wonder if it’s super low-grade nausea, where I don’t even know that I feel sick, but it affects the chocolatey part of my brain.