Wednesday, April 13, 2005

evening

So Happy That Toilets Don’t Need Electricity

Dear Internet, in the wee hours of Thursday morning the power company is coming to shut off our power.  Electricians are then coming to upgrade our panel so we can run all of our gadgets and not blow fuses left and right.  Unfortunately, the upgrade needs to be inspected by the city before the electricity can be turned back on (okay, I suppose it’s kind of a good thing), so if we get a cranky inspector, we could end up not getting any power until sometime on Friday.  Honestly, that would totally freak me out.  At first I was thinking I could handle a little time off.  We were thinking we just go out to Makino and have sushi, but then we realized that our garage would be wide open and that probably wasn’t the best idea without us being home.  So, no sushi.  Also, no computers , no lights in the bathroom (our bathrooms don’t have windows), no PBS kids’ shows for our parrots, no microwave, no TiVo, no espresso machine, etc.  Frankly, I don’t know what we’re going to do with all that silence...and oh yeah, no air conditioning!  We did make arrangements with our neighbors that if it gets too hot in the house, we can go over to their place while they’re at work.  Not only that, they’re leaving Season 1 (we missed the first three seasons) of Angel for us to watch on dvd, just in case.

So, if you’re reading this and waiting for an email from me, you won’t get it until at least Thursday night.  Also, if you’re waiting for me to do your website, I so totally suck.  This week has been a horror of vet appointments, required Home Depot shopping (we had to buy one of those HUGE air compressors today and arrange for delivery), people in town visiting, family obligations and other assorted things.  Next week is completely free of any obligations except being home when the landscaper comes to give us new reject sand in the back yard (the dogs’ feet will be so grateful) and rip out our hideous slummy looking lawn for desert landscaping.  The builder gave us the cheapest sprinkler system in the history of sprinkler systems, so our lawn has rarely had the beautiful golf course look.  Also, this will free up our faithful neighbor stud from having to mow our lawn, so we can get him to do other big manly things for us, like dig holes for trees.  He’s young and energetic, so we’d better take advantage of that before he’s decrepit, like us.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

mid-afternoon

Uh Oh, The PMS Headache Is Here

Blech, I have a headache.  It’s either PMS, the screaming cockatoo in the house or the Chinese food I just had.  Whatever it is, it’s making me angry.  I haven’t had a headache in a while and this one came on so suddenly.  I have things to do, places to go, baseball games to watch, websites to make, phone calls to make, tv to watch, books to read.  Oh, you get the point.  It’s interrupting my life and it doesn’t usually just show up for a visit—it wants to stay.

My parents just had an offer on their house.  It’s 12k under their asking price.  I told my dad not to accept it unless the buyer will allow for unlimited stays by the former residents, for life.  I mean, really, 12k could buy me (and Leigh-Ann) Starbucks for a few years.  That’s right, they’d be giving up FREE Starbucks.  Okay, so my parents don’t go to Starbucks, but let’s just say that they did…

Monday, April 11, 2005

evening

Las Vegas Centennial Celebration - Um, Whee.

“Red Hot Chili Peppers and Weezer have been tapped to headline this summer’s Las Vegas’ centennial celebration.” Oh.  Joy.  Hold me back.  The excitement is too much.  I hope the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform with their tube socks on.  I hope I can celebrate my 100th birthday with the Chili Peppers and Weezer.  Oh, the rocking out we’ll do in our wheelchairs.  Oooh oooh, you know what, it would be even cooler if we added, say, Danny Gans, Mr. Call in Sick to Work w/ A Thousand Voices (I bought tickets for my parents, three months in advance, for a show on Father’s Day...and he called in sick.  Then, after reading the paper more carefully, I realized, he does it ALL THE TIME...usually coinciding with a holiday), to the show.  That would make it priceless for me.  No, really.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

evening

Drinking

Ugh, I don’t know how anyone can drink to excess.  I had two drinks today and it’s only 11p and I feel crappy and have a headache.  My drinking career is over for another few months.  Blech.  Goodnight!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

early evening

I Have Pudding In My Hair

I’ll bet you wish you had pudding in your hair.  Actually, it’s Goldwell Trendline Freeze Pudding and it keeps the spikes in my hair and it smells spiffy too.  All day today, I’ve been whispering to Leigh-Ann, “I...have...pudding...in...my...hair.” Yeah, I know I’m weird.  I really like the stuff too.  I want to write essays about it, but yesterday I smashed my finger against our aquarium and learned that smooth glass can cut up a finger quite nicely too.  Go figure.  Anyway, it hurts when I type because the bandage moves when I move my finger.  It’s so stupid - I’ve been injuring myself in stupid stupid ways lately.  My thumb has just recently recovered from a bludgeoning by a sandblasting cabinet door.  To be fair to me, there’s something wrong with the mechanism and it got stuck, so it wasn’t my fault that a thousand pounds of pressure squished my thumb.  It happened to Leigh-Ann too.

Good, but bad news - my parents are supposed to get a bid on the house tomorrow.  Does anyone have a spare 659k to buy my childhood home for me?  It’s a nice neighborhood and a nice house.  The house only cost 38k, forty plus years ago.  It’s a steal at over half a million bucks now.  Wait, I’m gonna go get the realtor’s description of it, so you can know if you want to buy it for me.

Bedrooms: 4 Bathrooms: 2 Full / 1 Partial
Apprx. Sq. Feet: 2513 Year Built: 1960

Excellent neighborhood! Quiet street. Original owner! Great family house! Expanded with permits! 2 master suites!  Wood floors! Living room with fireplace with raised hearth & newer carpet. Enclosed patio with tile floors! Family room leads to large eat-in kitchen! Newer double oven and range! Large lot is almost 11,000 sq ft! Central heat & air!

If you were really my friends, out there in Internetland, you’d take this house off the market for me.  I’ll let you borrow Mr. Smooth even.  I’ll even see if my parents would throw in the baby grand piano with the pianodisc system.  It’s a piano that plays by itself, and can record what you play!  Think about it, okay?  Oh yeah, and the house has perfect Norman Rockwell family memories in it.  My parents are still happily married after 52 years, my siblings and I always got along, there’s a permanent basketball hoop (we had the post put into cement in the driveway), a lemon tree, a peach tree, a loquat bush, etc.  The street name is weird, but you can get used to spelling it and to people mispronouncing it.  You’ll also get used to people who are lost, looking for Weirdly Named Place instead of Weirdly Named Avenue.  Don’t worry, Weirdly Named Place is only a short two blocks away...and it’s small, so very few people get lost looking for them.  Anyway, you know where I am if you want the house.  If it matters, it’s in Southern California.

Here’s an update with one picture of the house.  I’m waiting for one taken from across the street, so you can see the upstairs in the picture.