Monday, February 28, 2005

evening

My Poor Puppy

I feel like such a bad mom.  Phoenix is our adopted walking medical problem.  She has horrible allergies, bladder stone problems and she can’t see out of her right eye.  She gets allergy shots, takes six pills a day and gets eyedrops twice a day.  Other than her health issues, she’s really the perfect dog.  Friendly, cute, smart and she has excellent hang time on her jumps; which, of course leads us to tonight’s problem.

Earlier today, the window guy was supposed to come out and replace our leaky kitchen window.  Again, he did nothing, but that’s another story.  Anyway, Leigh-Ann cleaned the sliding glass door, to make the house purtier.  Tonight, when I took the little dogs out, Cricket wanted to come back in early.  It was cold outside, so I closed the door after her.  Phoenix was wandering around, exploring the exciting dirt and rocks in the back yard.  A couple minutes passed, so I started to go towards the door to see if she was on the patio and wanted in.  I was about three feet from the door when I saw her run toward the door and leap in the air, to jump over the track.  What happened was like what you see in cartoons - she jumped up and smashed her face against the glass, then bounced backwards.  I guess the glass was too clean for her.

She didn’t cry or wobble or anything.  She ran up the stairs perfectly fine and jumped around waiting for her cookie.  Leigh-Ann looked at her pupils, but her eyes are so screwed up that it’s hard to tell what’s going on with them.  She’s been acting pretty normally; snoozing, resting, sleeping and chewing on a bone.  She seems okay, but I keep seeing her hit the glass.  It’s so sad.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

evening

One Adam Twelve, See The Man

There’s been a police helicopter circling our neighborhood for over an hour now.  Tight circles, like they know what they’re looking for, but it’s been kind of a long time, so why haven’t they found whatever they’re looking for?  About fifteen minutes ago I heard, “Get your hands up...muffle, muffle, muffle.” But then nothing happened, the ‘copter keeps circling.  I hope they catch whoever it is soon, because I don’t think we want to show them up by siccing our very large dogs on the criminals.  Well, that and I don’t want to hear the damned helicopter circling our house all night.

Here’s our big dog protection.  The first one is Eli, who is currently whining at the cats.  The second one is Dante, who is currently sacked out downstairs.  They’re very very scary.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

evening

The Horror Of AdSense

Luckily, the ads have now changed to chocolate ads, but what on earth did I do to deserve one about v (don’t want to spell it out for fear of more ads just like it) odor?  I’ve never even used the v-word in my blog, as far as I can remember.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

early afternoon

Pull The Plug On Me - Me ‘n’ Dodger Dirt

I cannot believe that Terri Schiavo is going to have to continue on living, without having an actual life.  I’ve made my wishes known to both my mom and to Leigh-Ann that if that happens to me, pull the plug as soon as it’s clear I’m not going to recover.  In fact, if just pulling the plug doesn’t work, please take me to a vet to have me “humanely euthanized”.  I don’t know why we’re allowed to make these important decisions for our pets, but not for ourselves.  I do not want to live if there isn’t any quality to my life.  And by quality, I mean talking, eating, reading, surfing the net.  I don’t mean blinking or smiling or moving a limb.

Did any of you see the ER episode with Cynthia Nixon?  Can you imagine anything worse than being fully aware of everything around you (and feeling pain!), but not being able to move or communicate with anyone?  If that happens to me, I want whatever risky measure is possible to attempt to reverse the damage.  I don’t want to be trapped in a body that is still peeing, pooping and growing unwanted hairs, if I can’t do anything about it.

Hey, has anyone ever used the internet successfully for posting their will?  Is it considered legal and binding?  Well, if anything happens to me, give Leigh-Ann the house and whatever else she wants.  Cremate me and scatter my ashes in various fun or pretty locales.  I especially want a little sprinkle of me to go on the infield at Dodger Stadium.  Me ‘n’ Dodger Dirt...reunited for the last time.  Don’t tell anyone when you do it though because if I was on the Dodgers, I would think it was pretty gross to play baseball on my ashes.  With what’s left, I want to be a part of one of those purple smiley face fireworks; if it’s good enough for Hunter S. Thompson, it’s good enough for me.  Oh, and he didn’t say anything about smiley face fireworks.  No surprise.

Oh, and make sure to Photoshop any pictures of me that are used.  I don’t want to be remembered as a shiny forehead.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

evening

I’m Hip-Mo-Tized - Tricia Kean’s Cleavage Winked At Me Today

I swear I was just minding my own business, watching the news, trying to keep abreast (heh) of the flooding situation at our front door when Tricia Kean’s breasts jumped out of her top.  Imagine my surprise.  Seriously, I don’t recall her ever dressing like that before—she’s supposed to be our attractive, yet non-threatening consumer affairs reporter.  This anchor position has had an augmenting effect on her appearance, I guess.  Anyway, I suddenly noticed myself staring at her breasts.  I don’t even particularly care about breasts, much less Tricia Kean’s, but I was mesmerized.  Hey, how embarrassing would it be if she read this?  Local Las Vegas lesbian notices Tricia Kean’s breasts.  Update at 11.

And seriously, could it just stop raining?  RIGHT.  NOW.  Our street keeps flooding, our back yard is a lake, our kitchen window that was already leaking in one spot sprung a leak in a second spot, and we suddenly have a leak in the garage wall.  It needs to end soon or we’ll either be washed away by the rapids in front of the house or the house will get soggy and collapse.

Did you know that you can have doughnuts or pizza or KFC (or refrigerators!) delivered to someone in the Philippines?  It’s so cool.  It’s just like going online and ordering Papa John’s to be delivered from a block away, but in.the.PHILIPPINES!  Anyway, check it out Pinas Gift.