Flippy - I Rant, You Read
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
terribly early in the morning
Daily Rituals
Aw, isn’t it sweet, someone checks my blog almost every single morning around 8 am. Nothing says “time to wake up” like a cup of coffee and a dose of Flippy. Keep checking, I still have some blog entries in mind for you. In the meantime, why don’t you get started reading here and see if you can find yourself. For those of you who are less obsessive about me, you should check out the link, too, but only for pure entertainment value.
Monday, November 05, 2007
lunch time
Britney - C’mere, I’ve got a non-profit that you can help
Did the rest of you read about Britney’s finances? Yeah, I’m reading gossip, but it was on the Huffington Post, so it wasn’t like I could avoid it, right? Heh, like I would. This is the important part of the article, Court papers released Thursday in Britney Spears’ custody dispute with Kevin Federline show she spends lavishly on clothes and entertainment, and doesn’t save or invest any of her roughly $737,000 monthly income. Spears’ monthly expenses include $49,267 in mortgage for two houses, $16,000 for clothes and $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation, according to her financial declaration.
Does that poor girl not have a financial consultant? That kind of money isn’t going last forever. Well, I suppose it really could, if she would invest just a small portion of it. Man, it blows my mind thinking about an income of $737,000 a MONTH. It’s sad that she hasn’t invested anything for her kids (to be fair, it’s not like they’re teenagers or anything - she has a little time) or donated more than $500 a month to charity. I have just the thing for her, the Wee Paws Animal Sanctuary. If she gave us $100,000 a month, we’d make sure that our little rescue did great (er) work, and I’d even set up a trust for her kids’ education with part of that money. Okay, maybe we need a little more - her kids are going to need a lot of money to keep them in Chee-tos and Starbucks. No, seriously, Britney, call me. Send me an email. You can come over and play with the foster kittens, although I’d appreciate it if the paparazzi were ditched somewhere on the Strip. That’s it, go into one of the clubs…and then go out the back door and come over to our house. We have 6-7 Starbucks within five miles of our house, so your non-alcoholic beverage needs can easily be satisfied. It might not be a bad idea to give up on the booze for a while - it hasn’t done you any favors.
C’mon, Brit, let’s build this cat enclosure for our rescues, k? Imagine how much fun you’ll have coming to visit - it’ll be just like a vacation. It doesn’t hurt that we live in Las Vegas, right? We’ll even babysit the boys. We’re totally responsible - the judge would approve. Oh yeah, and if cats aren’t your thing, we’ve got dogs too. And birds. You can teach Blackjack how to say y’all
Even if you don’t help us with our rescues, please get a financial advisor and a second one to make sure the first one doesn’t steal from you. Then, invest…for your future and for your kids’ futures. You’re not going to be able to put out dance albums forever. I do quite like the new one though, and I’m sure it’ll make you a pretty penny. Oh yeah, and do a little something to promote it, why doncha? It’ll make you more money and give you more time to find that financial advisor without ruining your future. Speaking of your future - you could use some new friends, maybe a couple of old lesbians who stay at home a lot and watch hockey games. We’ll even let you in on the Canadian secret that is Cheezies. Yum! Much better than Cheetos. We happen to agree with your Starbucks habit, so that, you can keep.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
terribly early in the morning
I Hate Myself Because…
I find Fergie’s music to be catchy and enjoyable, yet I find Fergie herself to be rather, uh, skanky. I guess things could be worse, I could be a closeted Republican man (it’s almost always the men, isn’t it?) who hated myself for being gay, but couldn’t stay away from gay sex in the men’s room. Yo, shout out to Senator Larry Craig! He’s this week’s hypocritical “Family Values” spokesman. Honestly, it sure seems like there are more gay Republicans than Democrats, only the gay Republicans are closeted and having dangerous and/or illegal sex, and they must be desperately unhappy. If the Republican Party could just support gay rights, yet stick to their supposed (I say “supposed” because spending recklessly to send our budget surplus quickly soaring into a horrendous deficit like no other isn’t exactly fiscally conservative, is it?) other objectives, perhaps there wouldn’t be a nasty sex scandal every week. Damn, they make Bill Clinton’s assignations seem almost harmless. Well, they were harmless (assuming they were all consensual), except to Hillary. But, they seem to have worked it out, figuring that they’re better together than apart. Good for them. Maybe their marriage isn’t hot & heavy romantically, but they must have fascinating conversations.
When it comes down to it, fascinating conversations should be a bigger part of a marriage than sex. After all, there are 24 hours in a day, and even the most physically fit of us wouldn’t have enough stamina to have more sex than talk. Which brings us back to poor ol’ Sen. Craig - maybe he isn’t gay, but he sure does like anonymous gay sex, and since it doesn’t take up that much of his time, perhaps his wife is okay with that. Isn’t it horrible how all these Republican wives have to stand next to their disgraced husbands during the press conferences? What on earth would a guy have to do to make that up their wife? I imagine the very least of it would be doing chores around the house without fail, putting the toilet seat down, and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
evening
She said, “What?” I said, “Ooh-ooh-ooh, whee.”
This is what happens to you when you listen to the 70’s station on Rhapsody, you get Alan O’Day’s “Undercover Angel” stuck in your head for days. It’s terrible. I dare you not to hear, “She said, “What?” I said, “Ooh-ooh-ooh, whee” for days. I dare you.
In the latest Tie & Leanne Domi news, it looks like I befriended the best Domi…the fake one. Geez, this family is a mess. Folks, all that money you have, you need to use it for therapy, for everyone. And hey, Belinda, since you’re at least 50% responsible, perhaps you should pitch in and pay for some of the therapy too. These kids are part of Canada’s future too. Don’t let their parents’ acrimonious breakup ruin them. Oh, as an aside, both books I sent to Leanne, thinking she was “Leanne”, were returned to the bookstores from whence they came, four months after they were delivered, giving me refunds for them. Chapters.ca gave me a refund of the shipping fees too - we’ll see what Amazon does, especially since that shipping was extra pricey. Maybe I’ll send the football book to Steve - he’s the one I thought I was sending it to anyway.
I haven’t posted anything in a long time in my Why Hets Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Marry and/or Procreate category. This story certainly fits. I never thought I’d be writing this about my beloved hockey player boyfriend. But alas, it appears that he might very well be an asshole.
The Tie that binds By SAM PAZZANO, SUN MEDIA TORONTO—The estranged wife of ex-Maple Leaf enforcer Tie Domi is hauling him back into court Thursday, threatening to shut him out of their children’s lives until he and the family undergo an assessment. “Tie Domi’s relationship to the children is disastrous: he has induced our son Max (11) to become seriously violent and uncontrollable,” stated Leanne Domi in court documents filed in court and obtained by Sun Media. “He is trying to recreate Max in his own image—as a bully and an abuser, and this has now caught the attention of Max’s school and hockey coaches.” Domi last month told his daughter Carlin, 13, that she “is making his life a living hell,” Leanne alleged. “He has reduced our daughter Avery (8) to hiding from him to prevent being with him; and he has unleashed upon our eldest daughter Carlin a series of furious, vicious verbal attacks that have left her in tears and asking for psychological help for both him and her.” None of the allegations has been proven in court. According to the documents, Leanne Domi’s lawyer is seeking an order “suspending (Domi’s) access to the children” pending delivery of recommendations by the psychologists.” The order also extends the prior restraining order of last September that barred Tie from coming within 100 metres of Leanne Domi, their matrimonial home on Oxbow Road and from communicating with either Leanne or her lawyer. Leanne Domi stated Carlin is “suffering the most, because she was drawn into the separation not by me, but rather by the indiscretions of Tie and Belinda Stronach. “In August 2006 . . . one of Carlin’s riding acquaintances had seen Tie and Belinda expressing their affection for each other in Belinda’s kitchen,” Leanne stated in the documents. “I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that I had to stem the damage of Carlin being in the middle of a gossip campaign amongst her peers from her riding stable.” Carlin is angry because Tie “takes pains to tell her that he is not involved with Belinda. She thinks her dad thinks she is stupid and she wants him to stop lying to her,” Leanne Domi stated. Max, who is the captain of his Triple A hockey team and was highly regarded as “emotionally mature, caring and polite,” is changing for the worse since the couple split in September, the documents stated. “Tie has bonded with Max in a way that is destructive: he has become fixated on Max’s hockey career. Tie has embarked on a campaign against Max’s hockey coach. Max told me Tie has told Max not to listen to his coach and Max has been disrespectful of the coach. “Max has punched a boy so badly that his face was bleeding and he did so for no other reason, than he felt like it,” Leanne Domi alleged. “All in all, it is clear to the children that Tie does not regard the children as a priority . . . There cannot be any other situation that cries out for intervention by professionals.” Tie Domi’s lawyer hasn’t filed a response to this motion or the allegations. He didn’t return a phone call to Sun Media yesterday.
Monday, June 05, 2006
late at night
Save Marriage - It’s Up To You!
An Action Alert from AmericaBlog.com - watch the video, some poor straight person’s marriage may depend on it.
Here’s what you’ll see on the video: Marriage is under attack - by Republicans who get blown by hookers, have trysts with lobbyists, dump their wives and families, strangle their lovers, call gay sex lines, and engage in acts of gay and straight sodomy. John Aravosis challenges the GOP to put up or shut up by signing the PTV Marriage Protection Pledge.
